Aliens vs. Robots (No, really this time!)
What luck it is that I stayed my review for District 9 because I finally, finally saw Terminator Salvation. I feel like it’s just a wonderful coincidence that these two movies, as different as they are, make great reviewing foils for one another. Yes, I’m a bit behind considering Terminator came out over three months ago while District 9 came out only a few weeks prior, but I suggest you read on so you understand the convenience of my timed viewings.
I’m going to do what many sites like to do when they’re lazy: create a X versus Y review, not so much because I’m lazy (sorta), but because, after looking through my notes, it seemed damned ridiculous not to. I prefer to call these challenges, even though these movies were not remotely facing each other this summer. It’s also kinda cool to picture a cyborg fighting a shrimp alien, but maybe that’s just me. Wait, hold on, let me ask someone……..yup, just me. So let’s begin:
1) Genre - Terminator is a pretty cut and dry sci-fi action movie. I’d say it delivers more on the action than the sci-fi. It enjoys getting bogged down in its own mythology, which isn’t bad by any means, it’s just that McG has to shove it down our throats. After finishing Terminator, the first thought I had was “if you don’t know what happened in T1-3, you’re not going to like this movie.” It’s a movie that is dependent upon its loyal fans and Jim Cameron’s ideas. If you don’t know this movie follows a movie based on time travel philosophies, you’re pretty much screwed. As for D9, the first thought I had was “what kind of fucking movie was that?” And I mean that in the best way possible. You don’t have to be a fan of horror, action, sci-fi, documentaries or political thrillers to enjoy this. You don’t have a choice either. It’s all of those in one, which I personally have never seen before. It’s not so much that it contains these genres that makes it work so well, it’s the fact that it works so well despite having so many genres. Oh, and it was damned funny at times, too.
Winner: District 9
2) Plot - Don’t stop reading, but I actually liked where Teminator was going in the first hour. I really did. I kept saying, “Damn, this isn’t half bad,” especially considering the review raping it endured in May. And then, well, I saw what everyone was vomiting about. Once Marcus is separated from Kyle Reese and becomes a linchpin in John Connor’s plans, the whole movie went hazy. Maybe it’s because Blair let Marcus go for no particular reason whatsoever. Maybe it’s because John Connor let Marcus go after dropping bombs on him to prevent him from escaping. Maybe it’s because Skynet was represented by Helena Bonham Carter in the most wooden performance ever (I don’t care if she represented a machine, it was awful and strange). Maybe it’s because it didn’t really make any logical sense, even if time travel stories are illogical. Or maybe it was just because McG was trying to make Mad Blade Runner Max and got carried away with himself. As for D9, we have a unique, very art-imitating-life storyline that intrigues the viewer immediately (if its POW camp/African war story/Anti-terrorist sentiment allegories aren’t obvious to you, you need to read a book or pick up a newspaper). Yes, D9 also gets bogged down in its own storyline (and loses itself on occasion with it’s attempt to step outside the story for docu-interviews that just muddle it more), but it’s just more fluid, and even when the film goes into 180-action survival mode, it serves a purpose, while Terminator’s latter half seemed like just one big set up climax.
Winner: District 9
3) Action - Both movies are incredibly action-oriented. Terminator is very heavy on action. Very, very heavy. It loves it some explosions and crazy angry robots. Yes, there are one too many Terminator skulls getting shot and depowering (I counted three or four of the same exact shot), but it sure keeps itself busy. And honestly, I did like the whole factory fight scene, even if the molten Terminator surviving made no sense considering T2. D9 also had some amazing sequences, particular the MNU lab shoot out. Guns and alien blasters shooting back and forth, our heroes narrowly escaping death in every instant. And a shitload of bodily implosions/explosions thanks to some weird ass alien guns. But honestly, the shock factor of all these action scenes wore thin. Almost every one ended with some sort of “WHAT?!” death or injury, and it became almost exhausting. Meanwhile, Terminator’s sequences, while called excessive by most critics, all seemed to serve pretty solid plot purposes. This isn’t to say D9’s didn’t. They absolutely did, but there’s something to be said about a movie embracing its action and repeating it, and something else when you stay a little more eclectic. Plus, the scene where Marcus is hit by a magnetic mine may have been the best sequence McG has ever put together in his career (granted, this is the very moment when the movie began to get shitty — ironic, no?)
Winner: Terminator Salvation
4) Characters/Acting - This is really no contest. Terminator is chock full of characters. Very, very wooden characters. This is the least I’ve cared about John Connor in all the Terminator movies (that shithouse T3 included). I felt like Christian Bale was sleeping through this role or on Bruce Wayne autopilot. Brooding, scruffy-voiced renegade? Hmm, that doesn’t seem too hard. And what’s the obsession with Sam Worthington? He’s okay, I guess. Alright, that’s a lousy review sentence, but that’s really my feeling towards him: Meh. He’s a murderer-turned-dead-turned-Terminator with a heart of gold? Yeah? So? Who Cares? Meanwhile, Wikus’ story in District 9 is beautiful and heartbreaking. He’s seems like a normal guy. Better yet, he is often a normal guy who does stupid and selfish things. We get his motives and we understand his pain and fear. For a movie chock full of spaceships and ray guns, everyone seems very human, especially the aliens. It’s a movie very grounded in its protagonists. I can say that the villains of the film, namely the head military honcho and the MNU boss who is also Wikus’ father-in-law, are very two-dimensional. But sometimes you just need those basic antagonists. McG got off easy having robots for bad guys, but it’s a problem when your good guys are just as robotic.
Winner: District 9
5) Rewatchability - You’re all going to hang me on this. Sad fact is, this comes down to a personal preference. I thought District 9 was great. I really did. And I thought Terminator Salvation was very mediocre. I really did. But when it comes down to it, D9 was a hard movie to endure. I say endure because there is just so much to take in. Like I said, it’s a genre-crazy movie. Movies like this are worth watching once every few years to re-evaluate and analyze. Terminator, meanwhile, is a popcorn piece of poop. And ya know what? Those can be lots of fun. And while it may pale in comparison to its predecessors, I found myself willing to watch it again just for kicks. I guess in terms of summer movie status, Terminator really delivers, because it is a summer movie at its most basic. Action, explosions, shitty acting and angry robots. D9 is more of an art house film at the end of the day. While recent suggestions of Oscar-worthiness may be a bit overblown at this rate, it is definitely constructed more in that vein and less so summer movie schlock. It’s the kind of movie we filmmakers aspire to create, while Terminator is the type of movie we’re glad we can just watch. Wow, even if it wins this category, that’s really a backwards compliment, isn’t it?
Winner: Terminator Salvation
Final Tally — DISTRICT 9: 3 — TERMINATOR SALVATION: 2
WINNER: DISTRICT 9
So I conveniently had five categories that conveniently made it impossible for a tie. Guess it helps when you run your own blog and make your own rules. Anyway, while this tally runs close, I will affirm that D9 is a much better film, as a whole. Cinematography was pretty great for both flicks, even if it seemed McG occasionally wasted his beautiful would-be David Lean landscapes for other silly antics. The real discrepancy here is that D9 really had a plan, knew what kind of movie it was (even if we didn’t), enveloped its viewers, and held on to its own plot and visions, despite an almost schizophrenic journey. Meanwhile, Terminator, while great on the action and splosions, never really finds its footing because it’s too busy trying to be epic when it’s really not. This doesn’t mean it’s a total waste of time, it just means it’s not the Terminator movie everyone was looking for. And maybe that’s what separates these movies most of all and affects my review into being such a strangely close race.
Everyone had high expectations for Terminator Salvation and therefore everyone was immediately disappointed. No one knew what to expect with District 9 and so everyone was shocked and awed. After months of abusive criticism, my expectations for Terminator were exceedingly low (to the point where I wondered if watching it was even worth it), so I was pleasantly amused for two hours. Meanwhile, everyone talked D9 up to me like it was the second coming, so my feelings towards it, while good, were a bit more sober than others (a 10/10, IGN? Really?).
In the end, all I can really think is, boy, I’m glad we live in a world where there are alien and robot movies and I get a chance to seriously discuss them and NOT sound like a nerd-ified lunatic.
I have at least a hundred more situations that qualify me as such.
-M
